From each and every relationship, we learn something. From every experience, we gain something. I would like to share with you five lessons that I have learned about love from my relationship with The Footballer. It began as a whirlwind romance, you know the ones where you fall head-over-heels for somebody, and you just click. This happened for me with The Footballer. He was kind, loyal, and always there for me. But on the flip side, he was also an a gambler. Our relationship was on and off for over three years. In this relationship, I learned things about love, and myself, and what I really wanted out of life. Here are five things that I learned from this relationship…
Five Lessons I Have Learned
1. Don’t cling to love. The Footballer broke my heart into pieces, but when the relationship is over, it’s over. This was a hard lesson for me to learn. You see, The Footballer went on his own journey during our relationship. He went to rehab and got clean and sober, and on this journey, he learned that he simply wasn’t in love with me. There was no point in my trying to pretend otherwise. We have to accept the things we cannot change with grace (and maybe a pint of ice cream).
2. Trust the soul-mate connection, even if it doesn’t work out. Contrary to popular belief, I don’t think we have one soul-mate. I think at different stages in our life we meet certain people and that connection is undeniable. If you find the person you want to be with forever, then great! If it doesn’t work, that’s fine too. You can’t enter into every relationship thinking, ‘What if it doesn’t work?’ You have to consider what you will gain from your time with that person.
3. Notice the red flags. Of course, this is easier said than done and we all have a tendency to ignore the things that might but a spanner in our life plans, but noticing the red flags can save you a lot of time and energy. An example, The Footballer’s alcoholism and gambling I wrote-off as nothing major, just a part of his personality. But if I’d have addressed those issues, to begin with, yes the romance and the spark might have gone up in flames, but I would have gained a much-needed perspective on the situation.
4. There’s more to a relationship than just physical attraction. I’m not saying it isn’t important, of course, you have to be attracted to the person you’re with. But if you find that you often use chemistry and attraction as an excuse for things you’re not happy with, then it’s a recipe for disaster, I’m sorry to say. There has to be more. A connection on a deeper level, which brings me to our final lesson.
5. You have to share the same vision. The whole point of a relationship is somebody that you experience life alongside. You are together through the ups and downs, the swings and roundabouts. If you don’t have the same vision of what you want your life to be, then it just won’t work. That’s not to say you have to live in each other’s pockets and have the same hobbies and interests, but you do have to share a life goal with one another. Family? Traveling? Career? These must be aligned in order for the relationship to work.
Relationships are tricky and many of us long to find that one person to spend the rest of our lives with. Maybe you aren’t lucky enough to find your Prince Charming on the first attempt, but we can’t all be that lucky. What I hope you take away from this blog post is that you deserve better. You don’t have to settle for something that isn’t right. Apply these lessons to your life, learn from my mistakes, so that you can do better. We are all worthy of happiness, and I hope with all my heart that you find it.